


Everybody Hurts

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M, Romance, Series, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 08:06:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Blair Drops the Remote, Jim and Blair can't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Hurts

## Everybody Hurts

by Dana

The lyrics for Everybody Hurts from the album "Automatic For the People" are available on many sites on the Internet. No copyright infringement is intented.

I would like to thank Linda who betaed the first part of the story.

S2P2

This story is a sequel to: Blair Drops the Remote 

* * *

Jim woke feeling exhausted after only sleeping half the night, dialed his hearing up and listened into the small room downstairs. From the sounds of Blair's breathing and slightly elevated heartbeat, he could tell he was lying in his room awake; Jim walked down the stairs then knocked on the door. As he started to knock on the French doors, Blair opened it and brushed past him, walking into the kitchen. 

"I'll make some coffee." Blair said finally, breaking the silence that hung between them. 

"You did the right thing. I would never force you to do anything that you didn't want to do." Jim saw the younger man's shoulders tense up and hear his heart begin to beat faster. 

"You aren't kicking me out." Blair ground some coffee beans. "I could be gone by tonight if that's what you wanted." 

"I don't want you feel like I pressured you." 

Blair let out a sigh and slumped forward, placing his hand on the counter. "You didn't pressure me. We both wanted it. Part of me wanted to remove those sweats, lie there and pretend." Blair put the freshly grounded coffee and water into the coffee maker. 

Jim put his hand on Blair's shoulder. "I'm glad that you didn't go through the motions." He placed one hand under Blair's chin and raised his face so that he could look into his eyes. "Carolyn did that for a while. It only made it hurt more when it was over." 

"I wanted so much to feel something. As long as the clothes were on, I could pretend." Blair looked at Jim, and then turned from him to get two mugs from the shelf. "I feel like I am wasting my life, living in your storage room." Blair shrugged his shoulders, looked at his bare feet, and placed the mugs on the counter. 

Jim poured the coffee into the two mugs. "Join me on the sofa; Chief, you aren't wasting your life." 

"I didn't go to Borneo because you needed me. I thought our friendship could turn into more. I wanted so much to love you the way that you love me." Blair picked up his mug of coffee and followed Jim to the couch. "I wanted so much more than the nothingness that I feel at this moment." 

Jim sat on the sofa and turned on CNN with the remote. "Sit next to me. I'm not blaming you." 

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I wish I could return your love." Blair put his coffee on the coffee table and leaned against Jim putting his head into Jim's chest. "Put your arm around me. I need you to touch me; I feel so weak inside." 

Jim put his arms around Blair allowing his dials to go midway. Blair felt so good in his arms like he belonged there, hoping to spend all morning snuggling with the smaller man. Blair's heart beating and breathing were regular, no unusual stress; there was no smell of fear or discomfort. "You could never disappoint me." 

"Kiss me," Blair whispered. 

Jim placed a light kiss on Blair's lips as Blair closed his eyes. Jim increased the pressure in the kiss, tasting so much more than the coffee. Jim tasted Blair's tranquility; there was none of the hormones of the desire that Jim had tasted the night before. Allowing Blair to set the pace, the kiss deepened. Blair hungered for affection as much as Jim did. 

Blair probably felt lost after having had risked so much on his relationship with Jim. All Blair had was a dissertation that he couldn't hand in and a job that he wasn't paid for. Blair's mouth opened more and his tongue moved against Jim's tongue playfully. It wasn't hard to pretend; wrapping his arms around the taller, larger man, Blair didn't want the kiss to end. He had never kissed so well and so deeply. 

Jim pulled back slowly moving his hand into Blair's hair as to tell him that he wanted to touch him as much as ever. "Baby, I needed that." 

Blair needed more in his life than a commitment to a middle-age man that needed his company to remain sane. Jim didn't thank Blair enough for helping him with his senses, which most of the time was a thankless job. Jim was sorry that he took Blair for granted, not saying, "thank you," "please," or "sorry" often enough. Jim needed tell Blair how much he meant to him. 

"Me, too." Blair leaned into Jim's strong arms enjoying the warm and compassion. 

Taking in the odor of Blair's hair, Jim' mouth moved to Blair's neck. "Feel nice," Jim whispered, feeling like he was taking advantage of the warm body next to him. Blair's pulse and respiration told him that he wasn't unhappy about Jim touching him but he wasn't aroused either. Blair smelled the way he always did. Perhaps, Jim had no right to make moves on Blair, but then again Blair wasn't objecting. 

Blair moved his head a little giving Jim better access to his neck. "Just don't give me a hickey. I couldn't face the guys this afternoon." Blair wondered if why he was just going through the motions. Jim was aroused by him; it wasn't fair to Jim that Blair didn't have the same interest. Maybe he just had a low sex drive because he hadn't completely recovered from the near death experience and it had nothing to do with Jim. Jim was pleasant to look at but Blair's heart didn't beat faster. 

Jim licked Blair's neck a second longer. Jim told himself to go slow. Blair's body begged him to touch it. Talk about anything; don't pull off his sweats. Let Blair set the pace. "You have to tell the university that you can't turn it in. How long have you been sitting on it?" Blair tasted so good. Jim had this urge to turn up his senses and surrounded himself with the beautiful, young man in his arms. 

Blair leaned forward and sipped his coffee. "If I tell the university, that I'm wasting my time and I need to change the topic of my diss, I could lose all my grants." 

"You can't put your life on hold indefinitely." Jim moved his hand over the back of Blair's sweats, feeling the itchy polyester blend. Jim was going to buy Blair 100 percent cotton sweats and tee shirts when the stores opened for the day. If he was going to snuggle with someone dressed, the fabric needed to be soft to the touch. As Blair's heart beat and respiration soothed him, he wanted so desperately to pull off those itchy synthetic clothes and carry him to his bed. 

"It hurts. For two years, I have know that I could never betray you by turning in that dissertation but I hoped I could find a way to still get my doctorate. I can't speak to my advisor and tell them that I haven't found a sentinel and that I wasted all my time." Blair put the mug down and fell back into Jim's arms. Blair wiped the small amount of sweat on his face. It was too warm for sweats when he was pressed against Jim; Jim warmed him like a furnace. It felt good to be in Jim's arms; Jim was home, family. Blair wondered if he could see Jim as a lover. He promised to be Jim's guide forever. He wasn't going to meet a woman that was going to accept that he had an intimate relationship with another man. "I am never going to marry. No woman will want to be part of our crazy relationship. You need me more than you needed Carolyn." 

Blair left the sofa and went to his room to remove his sweats; Blair didn't want to break another house rule by leaving his clothes in the living room. Blair put the sweats on top of his dresser. Blair looked in the mirror at himself wearing only a pair of white cotton briefs and put on a cotton tee shirt, not wanting Jim to grope his chest hair without an invitation. How could tall, muscular Jim want to touch a short, thin nerd? Blair's mind wanted his roommate although he had no physical signs of arousal. Blair had read enough psychology to know most of the sex drive was mental and an erection wasn't necessary to enjoy physical contact. 

Jim finished his coffee while Blair was out of the room. "You look far more comfortable." Jim smiled at the man holding the quilt that managed not to be destroyed in the warehouse fire. 

"No jokes about having cute underwear." Blair held the quilt against his body hiding his underwear from Jim's view. 

"Women have cute underwear. Men's underwear is meant to come off." Jim motioned for Blair to rejoin him on the sofa. "No offense." 

"Man, let's not go there." Blair sat on the sofa and wrapped the quilt over his waist and legs. Blair leaned into the sofa allowing his head to lean on Jim's shoulder. 

"The sooner you tell them that you need to change your subject the better. You have written that dissertation on the Thin Blue Line." 

"Most of it. It isn't extraordinary, but I have all the research done. I haven't needed to observe the department in many months." Blair put his hand over Jim's beard and feeling like his whole life was a lie, looking in the older man's eyes. "I love you, but I am not in love with you. I want to feel more. Could my lack of arousal be due to trauma and have nothing to do with you?" 

"It might. You feel so good in my arms. You were dead for over twenty minutes; I'm not surprised that you don't feel like fucking." 

"I don't know what I feel. You are fucking gorgeous." Blair squeezed Jim's hard biceps. "I like how I feel near you; I don't want to leave you. Man, our spirits merged that must mean something." 

"I don't blame you for hurting." Jim pressed his mouth on Blair's ear. Jim licked Blair's earlobe and then pulled lightly on the earring with his tongue and teeth. 

Blair felt on the verge of tears and pressed his body in the strong body near him. Blair didn't know how to describe the way he felt. He needed so much more than he was feeling. There was this huge emptiness. The lyrics of the song "Everybody Hurts" filled Blair's mind as he allowed himself to take comfort in Jim's arms. "Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand," Blair sang only loud enough for Jim's ears to pick up. "If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone. If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long, when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on." 

"You aren't alone. Chief, I am always here for you." Jim held him tight against him. "I will always love you." 

Blair drifted barely hearing the newscast. It was two-fifteen in the morning. "Would you like to take this upstairs? I need so much." 

"Baby, you can't go through the motions." 

"I love you. I need to be held and loved. You are all that matters to me. My life is so pitiful." 

"Chief, it isn't." Jim touched Blair's face. "You're so beautiful." Jim moved one finger over the side of Blair's face. "You're so precious to me." Jim took Blair's hand to his mouth and sucked on his fingers. Sucking on Blair's fingers was such a turn on; Jim couldn't believe that he came from that. He would clean himself up later; Blair needed arms around him. 

Blair looked into Jim's eyes. "Jim, touch me; I need so much." Blair put his hand on Jim's dick a moment unsure of what do next. Blair removed Jim's athletic shirt allowing his hands to feel Jim's hard muscles. Blair moved his tongue over his friend's hard chest feeling no desire just the burning need to feel more. It felt good that Jim desired him and that was enough for now. Blair put his mouth on one of Jim's small hard nipples, and pinched the other one. It felt different but not bad to be touching a man intimately. Their souls were one since Jim had crossed to the other side to retrieve his soul form the world of the dead. "You are the other half of my soul. Our spirit guides merged." 

"You don't have to do this." 

Blair couldn't believe that he was thinking about taking Jim's cock into his mouth and making him hard again. As Blair put his fingers in the elastic of Jim's boxers, the thought was only mildly repulsive. Blair had never looked at other man's penis; it seemed so big and threatening in his hands as he started to stroke it. Blair lowered his head so he could take the hard, long member into his mouth. 

Jim pulled Blair's head up before Blair could put his lips around his engorged cock. Jim had fantasized about Blair's full lips around his cock but it could wait until Blair equally aroused. "Don't do this." 

"Kiss me then." 

Jim pressed his mouth against Blair with passion, held Blair's head as he sucked Blair's tongue and allowed his mouth to taste all that Blair had to offer. "I know what you are trying to doing." 

"I want you to have all that I have to offer. I'm not worthy of your love." 

"You think that if you go through the motions that eventually you will fall in love with me. I don't need or want your pity." 

"You are a gorgeous man. You could have hundreds of men or women. I'm flattered that you want me." 

"You don't desire me." 

"But you desire me, that is enough." 

"That isn't enough." Jim fixed his boxer's shorts. 

"Just hold me in your arms until morning." Blair put his arm around Jim allowing his head to rest against Jim's naked chest. "Make this emptiness inside me go away." 

"I'm not going anywhere." Jim kissed Blair's forehead. "I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better." 

"Tell me that you love me." 

"Chief, I love you; I have always loved you." 

"I needed to hear that." 

"Baby, I know. We could always marry sisters." 

Blair opened his hand and felt Jim's hard muscles under it and felt comfort in hearing the slow regular beat of Jim's heart. Blair closed his eyes a moment as Jim wrapped his arms around him covering Blair with his body heat. Blair pulled the quilt over both of them. "From the moment that agreed to teach you to manage your senses, I should have known that I would be promising more than a few minutes repair. I thought I would write my dissertation and leave, but when we returned from Peru I knew that wasn't the case." 

"What did you feel?" 

"That you needed me and that you would always need me in your life. People don't abandon their friends." 

"Blair, we are more than friends." 

"Like David and Jonathan." Blair sobbed gently as Jim stroked his hair. 

"David and Jonathan didn't lay in each others' arms and make out." 

"How do you know? The Holy Scriptures say that they made a vow to love each other like a marriage couple in first Samuel and in 2 Samuel, David says in his eulogy, 'I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women'. That sounds like the love that we have." 

"I do want to know you in the Biblical sense." Jim kissed Blair's nose. 

"Have me." Blair said that with less emotion than telling Jim it was his turn to make dinner. 

"I will be here when you are ready. You must be questioning everything." 

"I should be dead; I shouldn't be here to question anything." Blair rubbed his nose against Jim's nose. "You are so sexy; why can't I feel anything?" Blair kissed Jim's forehead. 

"You're numb from the recent trauma. In a few days, you will be waiting to nail me to the bed." 

"You think so." 

"I know it. Chief, you need time to recover emotionally from the drowning. Give yourself the time." 

"Thanks, man." 

* * *

End Everybody Hurts by Dana: rochelle@mitchellware.com

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


End file.
